Starting A New Reality

Today I am starting a new Reality.

My brother is dead.  I had to get my shit together afterwards.  I ran away to la la land.  Then back to my new reality without my brother in it.  Its going to change the holidays coming up.  The worst thing that is going to happen so soon is my brothers 28 birthday coming up in the next couple of weeks.   Then the first of the major holiday coming up is Thanksgiving.  Which is a few days after his birthday.

I gave my brother is final present I got him last year (2017).  I was planning on giving it to him the next time I saw him.  Well that was when we as a family saw him at the funeral home.  I gave him a patch that I bought for the three of us me, my brother, and my sister.  The Patch said “I Cant People Today”.  I found it when I was looking for Christmas’s presents for my family.

I am not looking forward to this new reality.  It is has been reality for almost a month now it will get better.  I will be better.  Life will be better.  It will take time for it to get better.

I am not looking forward to going home.  To the house that we grew up in.  I Have plans to see a grief counseling to make sure I am doing good with come to terms with his death.  I think that I have took care of myself scents we got that call with my grieving prosses.  My mother has said even before we saw my brother for the last time that she wants us all to go to counseling for his death.  I will be going when I get back to California.

This is my new reality.  I must come to terms with this New Reality.