“The actions of men are the best interpreters of their thoughts.” – James Joyce
Well getting bad news this morning and then reading my Twitter feed and If This Than That posted this as a tweet for me. Makes me think.
Hear are my thoughts just in a brain dump because it’s what needs to be said.
This morning we got the call nobody ever wants to get. Someone has died. That is the most painful scream hart wrenching thing to wake up to from my mother. She was in her bed in the room above mine and I could not hear the words she was saying but new something was wrong. My dad was on the couch be that is where he was sleeping and he came to my room thinking it was me. Asking what is wrong. I didn’t know but went up stairs to my mother. She was off her bed looking for her phone she had thrown across the room. She was yelling something but I could not understand at all. She handed me the phone and I tried to talk to who was on it. But I had to walk away from my mom and dad. It was a friend of my little brother who called because he was the emergency contact for my brother. He and a detective in Chicago played phone tag and when they finally talked at 7:30 am this morning told my brother friend that my little brother had committed suicide Thursday night Friday morning.
We got in contact with the detective and found out some details of what to do and some people to call. My mom was on the phone with him until she started to cry again then I had to take over for her. When all was said and done we were in shock.
I started calling my moms sisters to tell them my mom had to call my sister and my dad called his sister’s family(that aunt had died from a cancer Battle earlier this month).
My moms friends came over that lived near by. My dads friend sent forever dropped everything and was here within an hour and a half. He made really good time.
Me and my parents friends have been trying to get my parents to eat while getting everything organized. One person found plane tickets to Chicago for my parents and myself and my dads friend and my sister who is in Georgia. We made the phone calls to the corners office the funeral home and all the other people numbers the detective gave us.
We had everything set up to be in Chicago tomorrow and deal with everything by 1:00 pm
My moms friends left my dads friend stayed.
We did not get my parents to eat until close to 6 tonight.
This is my new reality
My brother hung himself and did not leave a note.
He was 27 years old
It’s going to be hard getting over this
He had a good paying job graduate from college had a dog and a cat blue eyes and blond hair that was turning dark brown a contagious smile
Going back to the quote Day: “The actions of men are the best interpreters of their thoughts.” – James Joyce
How can these actions be interpreted
What were his thoughts
Well I think it’s bullshit really just bullshit.
If men’s actions are and interpreters of there thoughts it is saying that if they do good things then they should truly be good inside them but if they do bad things they are truly bad right but I know people who done something bad but are really good people and I know people who others people think are good that if I ever have kids I would never want them around my kids.
I don’t know all that went down on Thursday night with my brother and his coworkers at the bar but if he did not show up to work the next day and send the police officers to his apartment to check on him the next day because they were worried about him. Why didn’t anyone fallow him home his door was unlocked when the police showed up. Why did any one try to calls the emergency services and have him committed. So am I to believe that they just wanted him to kill him self if he said he would to them and they did nothing about it.
Just by what that quote said because they did not help him they are cowards and not worthy oof my time. Who knows but I don’t like that quote at all because if my brothers coworkers saw anything in his actions and didn’t do anything they could not interpret his thoughts.
Things will get better
Everyone in the world does not need to try to interpret my thoughts because they are right hear for the world to see
If you need help people want to help you the
Call the hotline 1-800-273-TALK 
Find and organization for help
To write love on her arms https://twloha.com/ this one I have been a fan of for a while and follow them on Twitter and Instagram
There are others out there.
The world we live in sucks